Ask Nina: Can the Groom's Mother Wear Black?
Friday August 19, 2005
In today's Ask Nina column, reader Patty writes, "Is it ok for the mother of the groom to wear black these days for the wedding? The bridesmaids dresses are claret."
Click here to read my answer and more.
This is a complicated question with an answer that depends on the time of day, the formality, what the bride's mother will wear, and where the wedding will take place. For example, in New York, no one would think twice about the groom's mother wearing black, especially if the wedding were after five. But I can't imagine it being okay amongst my parents' friends in the south. If the wedding is before five, or isn't formal, I'd say forget it. Otherwise, I'd start out by talking to the bride's mother about that she is wearing and see how she feels about you wearing black. You might also consider soft gray, or a jewel-toned purple or green, which will look wonderful with the bridesmaids' claret dresses.
Click here to read my answer and more.
This is a complicated question with an answer that depends on the time of day, the formality, what the bride's mother will wear, and where the wedding will take place. For example, in New York, no one would think twice about the groom's mother wearing black, especially if the wedding were after five. But I can't imagine it being okay amongst my parents' friends in the south. If the wedding is before five, or isn't formal, I'd say forget it. Otherwise, I'd start out by talking to the bride's mother about that she is wearing and see how she feels about you wearing black. You might also consider soft gray, or a jewel-toned purple or green, which will look wonderful with the bridesmaids' claret dresses.
Comments
I have been fighting with the groom because his mother is wearing a black gown and everyone else will be dressed in silver and turqoise. She knows it bothers me but says she will wear what she wants. I am tired of fighting with her and him. Do I have a right to be upset?
I’m the mother of the groom and I would like to know if it is appropriate to wear a red long dress to the wedding, which is after 5pm? The wedding party is wearing a dark gray dress. I am waiting for a reply to know what color the bride’s mother is wearing.
As a mother of the groom myself, just let her wear what she wants….it’s only a dress. You got to pick your battles and the dress isn’t a good one to fight over. If she looks out of place, it’s on her. My daughter’s mother in law wore WHITE to my daughter’s wedding….a far WORSE choice than your mother in law’s.
I’d say you have a right to be upset! Maybe yout future mother in law doesn’t like silver or torquise but black?! Unless the wedding is very formal black is a sign to all those traditionalists out there that she disapproves of you marrying her son! So in this case it is not just that “she will be the one out of place” it directly affects others’ perception of you! Can she not find something navy or deep saphire which would be just as slimming (-lm assuming this is her issue)?
As far as the red dress mother-of-the-groom i’d say yes, take your cue from the bride’s mom, but unless your son’s fiance feels threatened by you (like if you are quite young and sexy or have an over-bearing presence haha!) Red would be perfect. Especially if it is a fall or winter wedding!
My mil refuses to cooperate my colors are dusty rose & wine & my mother is wearing a rose colored skirt & cream blouse & I wanted my mil to wear wine or burgundy so everyone is color coordinated… I know this is not tradition or ettiquete but it’s my wedding & what I want… She had her wedding & got to make all the choices… In my opinion it should be what the bride wants & if the groom agrees his mother should stop being selfish & do what is asked of her…