Cheesy, Inappropriate or Just Plain Bad: What's on Your Do Not Play List?
Thursday August 9, 2007
Have you ever been at a wedding, dancing and having fun, when all of a sudden you think to yourself "I can't believe they're playing this song!" I've been at weddings with 95 year-old-grandmothers when the DJ plays a song studded with cursewords, and at romantic receptions interrupted by songs of cheating hearts. Playing such a song doesn't ruin everything, but I don't want memories of my wedding to include the sight of 10 middle-aged relatives doing the electric slide while anyone younger or older is bored in the corner.
If you have a DJ, the key to circumventing this situation is putting together a "Do Not Play List." And since DJ's have been known to ignore such lists, if you're really serious you can put it in your contract. So here is my personal Do Not Play List.
Since I know some of you are going object, "hey, I like that song!" and others are going to say "I can't believe you didn't include this awful song!" please tell me what you'd have on your please don't play list in the comments. (Click on the blue "comments" below to leave your own.)
Related: Band or DJ?
If you have a DJ, the key to circumventing this situation is putting together a "Do Not Play List." And since DJ's have been known to ignore such lists, if you're really serious you can put it in your contract. So here is my personal Do Not Play List.
Since I know some of you are going object, "hey, I like that song!" and others are going to say "I can't believe you didn't include this awful song!" please tell me what you'd have on your please don't play list in the comments. (Click on the blue "comments" below to leave your own.)
Related: Band or DJ?
Comments
Good picks! Anything by Kenny G or Celine Dion is banned at my wedding. But my relatives would have a fit if there wasn’t at least one Chicken Dance. Oh well.
THANK YOU for telling people not to play “I will survive” JEEZ. Are they dumb? or just foolish?
I’ve been at wedding receptions, enjoying a good boogie on the dancefloor, only to be stopped in my tracks with an exclamation of, “I can’t believe they’re playing this for a wedding!” The biggest offenders: “Crazy B*tch” by Buck Cherry and “P*ssy Control” by Prince. I felt embarrassed for the couples who let their otherwise classy events be tarnished by such poor taste.
I was just at a wedding where they played “strokin’” The bride looked horrified as her uncle took the stage and drunkenly sang the whole thing.
Don’t let them play that Lil’ John song Get Low. Thanks don’t need to hear about your sweaty b*lls while I’m eating or enjoying a wedding.
omg shut up i love the cha cha slide.
An ex-coworker of mine was selecting DJ’s and one had on his playlist – Epic from Faith No More…Do you know this one? It’s..well, EPIC. And the main line is “You want it all but you can’t have it” haahah.
Okay, so do you think it is tacky to do your OWN playlist!?!? With technology what it is these days, I’m thinking of doing my own on my iPod. My guy thinks that won’t go over well (I think he’s worried about me toiling over the playlist) – but I don’t see why it would be a problem. My mom has large karoake systems that I will steal the amps for to plug it into (that way, the “karoake” part will be unusable! hahah). No, really, though, you’re the wedding expert, what do you think of that?
I am so glad that list was made, I have one but it is much longer. It includes any sappy 80’s hair band song…or anything with an organized dance routine…blah
Another tacky group dance number: Jump Around by House of Pain. I’ve heard it at every wedding and anniversary party I’ve been to. Just another tasteless 4 minutes to “rev up” the guests. No.
When making the liswt you may need to define cultural touches as well. Some of thoses songs work for many while others don’t. Who are you writing for?
I have to admit that I love dancing to the cheesy group dance songs at other people’s weddings, and am kind of looking forward to doing so at my wedding… I get that they’re not everyone’s idea of good wedding music though.
However, the one and only song that is on my do not play list is I Knew the Bride (When She Used to Rock and Roll). THAT is what I consider tacky and in poor taste!
OK, I am a HUGE Dave Matthews Band fan, but please, please don’t play “Crash Into Me” at your wedding! For one thing, there’s a line in the song that goes “hike up your skirt a little more, and show your world to me,” which is BEYOND tacky for a wedding; plus, it’s not about love or romance, it’s about a voyeuristic fantasy! Even Dave has said that he finds that song being played at a wedding to be creepy!
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I was looking at a CD of Wedding/Reception songs in on of those party stores. I wish I had bought it, because I can’t find it now and nobody believes me. lol. It actually had “Brick House” and another equally horrible choice, which I don’t know the real name for. It’s “The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire……..”! It had at least a dozen more songs on it that made me go, “what”? lol
You’re commenting on something you don’t know much about. Please refrain.
I’ve played weddings/Dj for over 30 years and it is rare Not to get asked to play the songs you bagged. Yes I hate them too, but they work every time!
Did anyone think to add:
The Merry Widow Waltz
seems sort of obvious
I like the group songs because they get guest up onto the dance floor. My guest at my wedding had a fun time dancing to the cha-chca slide and the cupid shuffle and stuff like that! But i also got married at 21 last year so alot of my guess were my age and who weren’t i told the d.j he couldnt play my kind of music til after 9:00 when the older generation would be gone.
Ok just because you’re a DJ, that doesn’t make you an expert on what OTHER people like. The fact is, if a couple doesn’t like the songs that you ultimately dump on them at their reception(regardless of what they ask for), it isn’t like they can boycott you…YOU ONLY GET MARRIED ONCE (or you’re supposed to, anyway)…
I actually heard “White Wedding” by Billy Idol, and “Ice Ice Baby” by the biggest dork on the planet who shall remain nameless…
My personals DNP’s are Achy Breaky Heart, Electric Slide, Cha Cha Slide, Chicken Dance, I’m a Bitch, anything by Lil Jon (I live in Atlanta, so people think this is a “tradition” here), Hank William’s Jr., or “All my Exes Live in Texas” (again, Atlanta is the Mecca for country music)…and I’m sure that more will pop up as we get closer to our date.
I also think that “At Last” is WAAAYY too overplayed…how is this “your” song if everyone in Creation has played it as their first dance?
Worst article about wedding receptions I have ever read.
You forgot “Love is a Bettlefield,” “Hell is for Children” and – as one waiter-friend of mine told me – for the father-daughter dance: “Here’s A Lady Down on Love.” CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
I ALSO HATE “Sunrise Sunset” – have you ever actually listened to the words? It’s about GETTING OLD & having your life be half over! We told our [expletive deleted] band to play just about anything but, but they played it anyway, because the moron figured it was a Jewish song at a Jewish wedding. Well, it’s NOT! “Fiddler on the Roof ” was made by a NON-JEW! But at least the “Addams Family Values” movie got it right: they played it like the dirge that it is! It almost made up for it being forced on us…
I went to a wedding and the wedding party marched to the Come Baby Come – by K7. It is a song about making a person have a orgasm. Talk about inappropriate. The parent marched to that song, as well. I was extremely embarrassed for everyone who had to come in and march to that song.
Having your own Song list I think is extremely important. Whether you have a DJ or a Band you must instist that the ONLY songs to be played are listed on your list, nothing else should be played at all. After all this is the bride and grooms wedding day the songs that should be played are for them .
Bottom line…..people are responsible for themselves. If you have a bad time at a wedding its your own fault, everyone works very hard to make sure everyone has a good time at their wedding and you just have to make your own time
If I hear Celebration played at another reception I think I will be sick.
I have to Agree with Anthony Condell.
I have been in the reception business for almost 20 years and a Dj for 10.
If you want a song list…get a JukeBOX
When you are asked for requests, that dont work dont do them….As a Deejay you are supposed to get the crowd up onto the dancefloor.
I know what songs make it and which songs dont.
You cannot play macarena for Corporate ball. Unless.,…….you have about 20 people asking for it.
Oh and I almost forgot.
If you give me a song List..I make a point only to play those songs….
100 times out of 100…..The bride and groom ask me ..Why arnt people dancing?
If you like meatloaf or Bon Jovi…doesnt mean your relatives like it.
Well, I AM a DJ.. having 15 years of radio background and now in television for 10 years,.. I find your “do not play list” rediculous! While you have ’some’ interesting ideas.. you’re taking your OWN PERSONAL tastes into account much more than that of any particular wedding guest, groom, or bride!? Your opinion is just that .. YOUR OPINION! Most people rather enjoy almost every song on that “do not play list”… And as a DJ I personally have to play a whole lot of songs I don’t particularly like, but it’s part of my JOB do ENTERTAIN! Don’t know who you THINK you are with your genius ideas, but it sounds more PERSONALLY motovated, than GENERAL. If it is “requested”, and it doesn’t “kill” anyone, then it will likely be PLAYED!
I am a mobile Dj. There are certainly some songs on your list I agree with but others absolutely not. And you say no group dance songs? Well, how many group songs are there that people actually know? I guess based on your list, no one will be doing a group dance at your event. And keep in mind, just like in the music industry when a artist or band perform their songs thousands of times, the people coming to listen have not and enjoy it so they perform it for them anyway just like us Dj’s, people at our parties have not been burnt out like we have but we do it anyway plus people request them countlessly!
Yea, I have another comment. I just now finally read the other posts. To the woman from Atlanta. Professional Wedding Dj’s do not “Dump” bad music on nobody. When the Bride and Wedding decide to go “Cheap” and hire that 375$ “friend or relative DJ” and wonder why everyone thought their wedding sucked when everyone will only remember what the Dj was like and how much fun they had, not the elaborate money on the table center pieces that should have been spent on a quality Dj who has years experience in music programming, MC’ing, and can make your wedding the one people always remeber they had the most fun at. And as far as an ipod wedding entirely set up by the bride HAH!! If you are thinking of it, go ahead and makes the worst decision of your life. I have friend in the Dj business who recently did a wedding where the bride basically hired him for his speakers and lights
and her “Ipod” for the whole wedding she set up before the event. He was slow that week and reluctantly agreed to this. Turned out to be a disaster that he ended up saving them.
No one, absolutley NO ONE!!! was having a good time. The mood was not set or maintained, Nobody danced, just looking at each other waiting for something to happen while the brides “Songs” that she the week before envisioned in her head would have everyone just dancing endlessly and partying played through the speakers. The bride in tears asked him to stop her “Ipod” music and could he do anything. In a smart
move on his part, he had thought this might happen and unbeknownst to the bride, brought all his music cd’s and had them out the van “just in case”. She begged him to do something gave him the green light and ten minutes later, he had that banquet hall floor packed and stayed packed the remaider of the evening which in fact, they went an hour and a 1/2 overtime because people did not want to leave. People think it is so easy to DJ, “Just hit the play button right?’” While their are some sorry excuses for Dj’s out there, you get what you pay for. Only with experience, strong voice and michrophone skills, technical knowledge, wittiness, Love of music, and personality can one even consider doing a wedding as a Dj to make that the most memorable evening and event for Bride and Groom and all attendees. I apprenticed under a experienced Dj for two years before I did the first wedding by myself which now I have done over 425 wedding parties alone on top of graduating with a bachelors in broadcasting and countless technical seminars as well as thousands of hours practicing on my Dj equipment at home and keeping abreast and purchasing ALL the latest in the most very top of the line sound equipment with every single piece that has a backup for the backup and staying informed on all the latest music, and DJ trade show and conventions, and yearly trips around the country to study different music genre and new sounds can one even call themselves a professional wedding Dj which I have got a referral from every single wedding I have done and constantly booked the last three years. I have even been flown in to different cities paid by the couple to perform. And my price? not the most expensive either. And there are many others like me who make this their life’s work for the New husband and wife to remember their party the rest of their life and attendees who are not married yet have such a good time, they have book me a year in advance for their soon to be weddings. People remember the Dj and the time they had, not the decorations. keep this in mind next time you want a wannabe laptop Dj or want to use you “ipod” and you ruin the one and only best day of your life when no one has fun or remembers your special day
Please excuse my spelling on a few words. I wrote these last posts fast and in haste due to my incomprehension what some people believe on here about Dj’s.
Oh, and I absolutley sit down with the Bride and groom well in advance and go over the songlist. I “incorporate” their songs into the wedding and will not play some certain songs they cannot stand. But based on my experience I tell them what will and will not work and explain to them that I get a better idea once I ‘read” the crowd and set up my music programming. Music programming is a learned trait that only professional dj;s aquire over time,and based on all my referrals, the bride and groom already know of me and trust my knowledge. I agree with the other poster, if the bride and groom to be think they can songlist out their entire night, get a jukebox!!!!!
Hey Bob? you really sound like a true professional. I don’t agree with article either. I would love to have someone of your caliber do my wedding party next year. How can I get a hold of you?
Thanks
Susan
Bride to be
To Kimberely, Gee I recently attended a upperclass wedding and the Dj there happened to play Vanilla Ice and all I saw was grown adults crowd the dance floor and dance their butts off to it. It’s like a comical song now where enough time has passed and people got over the cheesiness of it and retro to hear it again . You must be a pretty boring person
ac/dc – Highway to Hell will be a good’n for a wedding
You don’t know many DJs do you. I know quite a few; and none of them Love these songs. Would you love music that you were forced to play over and over by popular demand 1000s of times, weekend after weekend for 20+ years? DJs pretend to “love” these songs because they are getting paid well to play or hopefully, Not play them!
i love GNR, but u should never play these two songs:
1-November Rain(have u seen the video?)
2-Patience(awesome song, but its also about a break-up and then killing the girl)
For the foremost, your suggestions are good but songs like the Cha-Cha Slide and other group dances are almost always a must…it’s all about timing and a good wedding DJ can get by…a great wedding DJ knows when to hit em’ with a group song and with the proper MC lead-in theses songs are just fine and almost always greeted with cheers and the bridal party almost always gets on the floor with the “white dress”…I do agree with this though…if they’re not requested then don’t play em’! there is plenty of great music to play in their place.
I am a wedding photographer that recently photographed a wedding where the horribly inappropriate DJ played that early 2000s song “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang. I just kept hoping the old people weren’t listening. He also played “I kissed a girl” by Katy Perry. I love the song but not really appropriate for a straight reception.
I totally agrre with The DO NOT PLAY LIST. I am getting married in October 09 and my fiance and I both have songs that are banned. There are over 30. That is why you take the time to find the right d.j. for your reception, you cannot just pick one from the directory.
**Top of our list- Cotton Eye Jo!BLAH
Any country song, unless you live in the south of course!!
Do not play at wedding list:
Alan Jackson “It’s all right to be itty bitty”
Even at a cowboy wedding, a guy leaving for a honeymoon doesn’t care for ‘too much information’.
It’s been 20 years and I can still see the drummer’s horrible expression! My stepdaughter got a great deal because she told the band when she booked them that there’d be someone at the reception that could give them a LOT of referrals for various kinds of events… that was ME because I owned a music store and often people called me asking who I knew who could play for them… At the reception, they played “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town” (Kenny Rogers)… I couldn’t think of anything more inappropriate, and doubly so since the groom had a serious limp from a childhood accident! This was in the first set with two or 3 more to go…At the end of the set, I went to the leader and said that it was tasteless and terribly inappropriate and to not play cheating songs at the wedding reception. The bandleader said
that they had a song list and had it as a fixed routine with everything timed just right. They intended to stick to their list with no censorship on my part or anyone else’s. I handed him my business card and said, “In that case, do not call for referrals; I will not recommend you to anyone.” The bandleader swore barely under his breath, the bassist was furious, and the drummer put his face in his hands and said, “I was counting on recommendations. They can get another drummer.” About a week later, the drummer came into my music store and appologized, confirmed that he quit playing with them and then thanked me for teaching them the lesson. I let him put his name and number up, titled, “drummer, looking to connect with other musicians.”
Some of the songs you picked are all some of your friends know how to dance to, or have the courage to dance to. Music moves people because of many reasons, I will survive for instance, while about surviving a breakup, first and foremost is about survival. When played the women quickly bond over shouting out their independence and they have fun. DJ’s play it because they want people to have fun and dance, the same reason, it get’s requested. If you want to put more songs on the do not play list because of lyrics, I suggest you listen to popular rap and hip hop music. DJ’s can only recommend, in the end the bride and groom and crowd response really pick the music.
Hi
I’m a Mobile DJ in South africa and the group dance thing still works here but might I add not at all weddings, So I usually ask before the wedding do you want this or not.
And a song you forgot is ” It Must Have Been Love but its over now – Roxette”
y do every dj who commented here rite with atrocious grammer n speling? is dj what u be when u cant pass hihg school grammar class?
And don’t forget the Electric Slide!
Proud Mary
I agree.. anything by Celine Dion should be banned… also Proud Mary.. All the old people with their heads bobbing to that song !!
Oh thank god someone else hates that song “My Humps” I find that to be the most degrading song and I get pissed everytime I hear it. I actually have to turn it off because the stupid thing gets stuck in my head.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU
Ha! Ha!…and “Another Bites the Dust”!
The songs “Jeremiah was a Bullfrog” and “Proud Mary”. I hate those songs, especially at weddings. When I got married I told the band not to play them and if requested, “they do not know those songs”. Yuck, tacky!
Have you ever been to a wedding reception? I understand the songs not to have as your first dance but the others … I thought you would have up “She ****** hate me” or songs like not. Not the traditionl songs that can really get the wedding going. No offense – I have no idea if you are a guy or girl or what (I will look after I finish typing – so I know not to trust you again) but these suggestions sound like someone who has never been asked to dance or someone who does not know how to have fun. Maybe you should stick to topics you know – weddings is obviously not your thing.
Highway to Hell, The Stroke, Big Balls, 3 a.m., When your gone, Pretty much anything off of Pink’s newest album
Although I’ve played it 1001 times, and would do it again if asked (paid), how can a country band escape a reception without doing Rocky Top 2 or 3 times??
…..of course one of our best received bar covers is Steve Holy’s “I Got A Brand New Girlfriend”…. might have to leave that off the reception set list…
If the entire guest list and wedding party were all among the “cool kids” then sophisticated, classy and hip might be the way to go.
Unfortunatly, you are the minority. The rest of us are terminally uncool, but love many if not all of the songs you have listed. Don’t forget guests who are either old people or little kids – they might not even know why they like “Celebration” or the “Hokey Pokey”, but they do.
I do find amusing the ironic (or maybe MO-ronic) song choices for the ceremony or first dance “Every Breath You Take” “I will always love you” etc. What are some of these people thinking?
The Electric Slide. Are we 20 years into this or what? So much so there are various steps to it depending on what part of the country you are in. Formal and informal receptions, it is annoying. This song was the precursor to the Cha Cha Slide. A male friend’s perception of the song and dance steps is that it was made for people who never were asked to dance at a club or any social gathering. That said, there is nothing more hideous than seeing the bridesmaids, of all shapes and sizes, in those “gawd-awful” shiny bridesmaid dresses prancing about like court jesters.
I think it is stupid that you are saying not to play some of the fun dancing songs!! Just because you dont like them doesn’t mean everyone does. I understand not playing breakup songs but Celebration…come on why the hell do you say not to play that. Chicken dance and hokey pokey….Really? There are gonna be kids there. Give me a break! Who do you think you are??
We are exicted to play a variety of songs at our reception. From Journey to lil wayne to the twist. My DNP list will include electric slide, macarena and chacha slide, brickhouse, any celine dion and any song made before 1950. Our first dance will be “you got it bad” by Usher…as that was our song when we started dating in college…the slow guitar version of course. This will be an adult party…with adult music. if my guests cant handle that there are lyrics and words that they my not like. See ya at brunch. We have this awesome idea….When my husband (to be) removes my garter and all the guys are out there to catch it…the DJ will play “too many dicks on the dancefloor” from Flight of the Conchords! We are looking forward to playing fun songs that people DO like and will laugh at. Though im not getting married until next June..we are waiting to see what new songs come out before making our selections. =) My wedding will definetly be one to remember.
Honestly-some songs are bad. BUT- every wedding that i’ve been too, songs like the cha cha slide, ymca, macarena have brought out people. its a wedding…when else will u hear these songs and enjoy them?
I LOVE your do-not-play list! That’s exactly why I didn’t hire a DJ. I didn’t want the classic “celebration,” or “YMCA.”
iTunes playlist, baby–it’s definitely the way to go!
I think you’re do not play list is a little severe. Face it. People like the group dances.
However, I was at a wedding where “When a man loves a woman” was the couple’s first dance song. WTF? That song, while a great song, basically says that the woman can treat the man like carp as long as he loves her.
Unfortunately you are commenting on a subject you blatantly know little about. Although you do have some valid points. you start your article with “group songs” If you spoke to ANY professional DJ for more than about 2 minutes you would realize. DJ’s do not love these songs. Let me put it this way. If you think you don’t like a song because you have heard it too much think about how many times we have heard it.
If you go on just “overplayed songs” how about anything from Elvis, The righteous brothers, Celine Dion, and Many Many more.
A professional DJ will ONLY play a song because of the reaction on the dancefloor. Many of the group participation songs are used because it allows everyone to interact without the need of a partner. how many parties, weddings have you been to where your male (usually) significant other has no interest in dancing.
Weddings especially play memories. We do not break out new hits. Top 40 is played but only the singles that are already being overplayed on the radio. if you want an “elegant” “romantic” wedding we should play nothing but love songs.
You seem to have gotten yourself into a voice of authority on a subject you know little about. For something that may open your eyes checkout http://www.mobilebeat.com They actually put out a list of the top 200 requested songs that mobile dj’s have recieved over the year. They also released the top 25 do not play. I find it amusing that all 25 are in the top 200 requested.
really we are there to entertain ALL guests. we do encourage all of our clients to give us a do not play list but we also let them know truly the songs that should go on there. points you glaringly missed.
You never once mentioned the main reason above “cheesy” songs that the do not play lists are created. Families can be very vindictive. We have had people request songs knowingly to upset others. ALOT of popular music today is used at funerals. We have had family members ask for those songs to break up the mood.
Previous relationships. This is the reason we actually started asking clients for this. I played another overplayed song but still VERY VERY popular at wedding. “Unchained Melody” by righteous brothers. my client at the time never let me know she had been married before and this was her first dance. THAT is a song that should have been on her do not play list.
I tell all my clients we keep track of ALL requests. If they put down something on the “do not play” list and we have had numerous requests we speak to our client. We are hired to entertain ALL the guests. If a large portion of guests want it honestly unless it is inappropriate language or subject matter why should it not be played.
I am sure I have heard the chicken dance more in the past 6 months than you ever have. I do not look forward to playing it I would not lose sleep if I never heard it again. A TRUE Professional would still play it, if it will make the evening and experience memorable.
Think of it this way. Do you really think the beach Boys are excited to play “Surfin’ US” again for the 10 billionth time. I can’t stand the song anymore but I would feel ripped off if I saw them in concert and they didn’t play it.
TRUE professionals do what it takes to make the event memorable.
i so totally agree with your list im 22 and trying to plan my wedding and oh god im about to pull my hair out…i never thought it was gonna be this hard to plan a wedding…but ur list helped me thanks alot.
amanda
Do Not like the Electric Slide. Am I the only one?
that was bery nicely written, have heard most of these songs and surely i wont play them at my wedding .. !
Some puzzling ones that I’ve heard at wedding receptions
One Sweet Day – Mariah Carey & BoysIIMen…um, it’s about death
Apologize – One Republic…break-up song