Would You Rather Have a Dream Wedding, or a Check for $30,000?
Tuesday October 14, 2008
That might seem like a ridiculous question, but a friend of Glamour blogger Joanna Goddard was actually offered that choice by her mother. She could either have the wedding of her dreams OR a wedding at City Hall plus a check for $30k. What would you choose?
Personally, given that choice, I'd choose the wedding. A wedding is a once in a lifetime opportunity that is so incredibly rewarding. Done well, it is not only a chance to throw a great party, but also a way to strengthen your relationship, create life-long memories, be creative, express yourself and so much more.
But why does that have to be the only choice? It's possible to have a wonderful wedding on a budget. My own wedding for 125 guests in New York City cost less than half of the NYC average, and while we were budget conscious, we splurged on everything truly important to us. (This Brooklyn couple did even better than we did, spending less than $5k.) Check out my wedding cost-saving tips for ways to save on your celebration.
A wedding at City Hall means only having a few people with you, rather than all of your loved ones. It means forgoing moments like the toasts, and the first dance, which ideally are things to treasure for a lifetime. And most of all, a wedding ceremony at City Hall is rushed. It doesn't allow you to write your own wedding vows, or choose meaningful readings, or honor loved ones by asking them to participate in the ceremony. For some people, eloping is the right option - they want to be married without any hoopla. But if you want a wedding, my advice is to have one - there are many ways to be able to afford one.
PS. The Bride who was offered this deal? She took the wedding too.
Personally, given that choice, I'd choose the wedding. A wedding is a once in a lifetime opportunity that is so incredibly rewarding. Done well, it is not only a chance to throw a great party, but also a way to strengthen your relationship, create life-long memories, be creative, express yourself and so much more.
But why does that have to be the only choice? It's possible to have a wonderful wedding on a budget. My own wedding for 125 guests in New York City cost less than half of the NYC average, and while we were budget conscious, we splurged on everything truly important to us. (This Brooklyn couple did even better than we did, spending less than $5k.) Check out my wedding cost-saving tips for ways to save on your celebration.
A wedding at City Hall means only having a few people with you, rather than all of your loved ones. It means forgoing moments like the toasts, and the first dance, which ideally are things to treasure for a lifetime. And most of all, a wedding ceremony at City Hall is rushed. It doesn't allow you to write your own wedding vows, or choose meaningful readings, or honor loved ones by asking them to participate in the ceremony. For some people, eloping is the right option - they want to be married without any hoopla. But if you want a wedding, my advice is to have one - there are many ways to be able to afford one.
PS. The Bride who was offered this deal? She took the wedding too.
Comments
I have to say that I disagree slightly and/or that it depends on the couple’s situation. My FI and I are paying our own way on our small wedding because our parents just don’t have the means to in this lousy economy but if my parents were financially set to offer me something like that I would definitely take the offer. FI and I live in a condo and just can’t wait to get a house. We’d get a house, get settled, save a few dollars and throw a wedding in our new backyard! I don’t think an offer like that is the end all be all to a memorable wedding. To me a wedding is one day, $30k gone in 8 hours, a house is so much more.
Becky - it’s probably because of living in NYC that I don’t think that way, as 30k is not enough for a down payment here. But I still think that I’d rather do what you’re doing, having a small wedding, than have a City Hall ceremony and a check for 30k.
I’d ask if I could spend $15k on the wedding and have a cheque for $15k!
Yes, I agree I want to surround myself with “all my loved ones” on my wedding day and be left with great memories but if I consider how many people really REALLY matter to me in my daily life? They could all fit in city hall! Does anyone really have an intimate relationship with 100+ people? If I could take the handful of special people in my life down to the beach or City Hall for an intimate wedding with a simple dinner and wine afterward? You can bet I’d take that deal! There would be loved ones, toasting, the sharing of food & stories, memories… all the things a wedding should be. And I’d be 30K richer!
Very fun “what if” question to ponder! :+)