What Would You Do About Uninvited Guests?
Sunday February 22, 2009
Your weird cousin Bob says that he's bringing an uninvited date to your wedding. Your coworker announces that her kids are coming. And your well-meaning neighbors tell you how thrilled they are about your wedding, even though they were never on the guest list to begin with!
So what do you do? While etiquette suggests that the bride and groom call any quests who have RSVP'd for more people than intended to explain the misunderstanding, this is not an easy thing to do. Some couples don't say anything at all, but feel resentful afterward. Others take the time to write every guest's name on the response card, trying to ensure that no extra guests will be tacked on. Recently, I've seen couples trying to circumvent this problem by adding the line "We have reserved ___ seats for you" to the RSVP card. What do you think of this solution? A good one, or tacky?
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How Should You Avoid Uninvited Guests at Your Wedding?
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More about Reply Card Wording
Starting a Wedding Guest List
Frequently Asked Questions about Wedding Invitations
So what do you do? While etiquette suggests that the bride and groom call any quests who have RSVP'd for more people than intended to explain the misunderstanding, this is not an easy thing to do. Some couples don't say anything at all, but feel resentful afterward. Others take the time to write every guest's name on the response card, trying to ensure that no extra guests will be tacked on. Recently, I've seen couples trying to circumvent this problem by adding the line "We have reserved ___ seats for you" to the RSVP card. What do you think of this solution? A good one, or tacky?
Vote now in our poll!
How Should You Avoid Uninvited Guests at Your Wedding?
- The traditional way - by being very clear in the way the invitation is addressed, and calling people who don't understand it.
- By writing the guests' names on the RSVP card
- By adding a line "We've reserved ___ seats in your honor"
- If people bring friends, dates, or children, we won't let it bother us.
See Current Results!
Read more on this subject.
More about Reply Card Wording
Starting a Wedding Guest List
Frequently Asked Questions about Wedding Invitations
Comments
I don’t think that is tacky at all. Wedding are very expensive and take a long time to plan and its not easy to do. People need to respect the Bride and Grooms wishes. Unfortunately some people feel they are “entitled” and it makes things hard for the couple, so to avoid problems with how many people are invited I think its a great idea to say it right on the RSVP card…I definitely like the idea and it will cut down on all those uninvited guests!
Some wedding invitations and RSVP cards can be so complicated these days. I think the best ones are just bacic and to the point. I think the card should just ask if you are coming and how many will be attending…I have received some invitations that had so much on it for me to fill out I was all confused and I don’t have the time for all that, keep it simple is what I say.
There is so much preparation and expense that goes into wedding. Every adult who is invited should know that. Yes, it is indeed tacky and lack of class to include more people than who are invited. Leave the kids with a babysitter or do not go at all. Then it would be so nice and tactful to RSVP that as well. If you are invited as a couple, do not ask your best friend and her good friend to come as well. If you cannot find a partner, surely, you may ask a friend or co-worker. Otherwise, go to the wedding reception alone.
I think that is a great idea. People don’t realize the expense and preparation that go into a wedding. Many think it’s free food and drinks all night, not taking into consideration the honor of being invited to the persons wedding. I think writing the name on the RSVP card of the people that are invited as well as including the number is a great idea. This way you avoid any misunderstanding. If someone is insulted…then just RSVP “NO” they will not be attending…I don’t want anyone at my wedding that feels resentful. I’ll save my money and have those whom love my Fiancee and me right by our side!
If it’s my special day and I don’t want unvited people to attend, then I shouldn’t have to pay $100 a plate to feed them. If people want to work around that behind your back, then that’s tacky! It’s not tacky to word it how you want to word it, because some people just don’t get the point!
Personally I think people who crash weddings are pathetic. How embarrassing.