A Feminist Wedding?

Recently, the feminist blogosphere has been all a-twitter over feminist writer Jessica Valenti's recent wedding. After it got a big glossy write-up in the New York Times Vows column, her wedding seems to have been fair game for criticism for everyone from Playboy to Salon.com. There as also the obligatory rebuttal from Valenti.

The controversy here seems to center on the ways in which Valenti and her now-husband, Andrew Golis, tried to feminist-ize (if you will) a traditional ritual. The bride wore light gray instead of purity-symbolizing white, she tossed the bouquet to the single guys instead of the single girls, and they donated to an organization supporting same-sex marriage rather than handing out favors. But in the end, they still had a pretty traditional non-traditional wedding. That is, their wedding wasn't all that different from my wedding or that of many other young couples marrying today. Whether her dress is *technically* light grey instead of white seems to matter less than the fact that she wore a big floofy dress, marched down an aisle, tossed her bouquet, and signed a legal document getting legally married.

I don't know, but I'd rather be reading stories about couples who are figuring out how their weddings are best a reflection of themselves, and more importantly, talking about how to create an equal and meaningful marriage. What do you think? Is there such a thing as a feminist wedding? What are you doing to make your wedding reflect your politics?