Everybody loves a wedding
but are we living in a nation of stressed out brides? Planning a wedding can be downright painful ... and all the people pleasing it often requires can zap the spirit and joy out of being a bride. Bridal stress is unique. It is essentially temporary, yet is connected to much deeper family issues and emotional challenges. It can easily be triggered by practical issues ask any bride who has tried to interpret a tricky vendor contract or shop for bridesmaid dresses with their attendants -- and is exacerbated by family dynamics . There is often a decision to make, or challenge to resolve, at every turn of that journey to the altar. Every little nuance -- and nuisance -- can put you in a momentary tizzy.
It is no wonder some women get the bridal blues. Here are some of the challenges, and the antidotes, for brides-to-be:
1. Bridezillas are made, not born. Its supposed to be the happiest time of your life and you want it to be yet planning a wedding is like working a second job. You have to find the time to tend to a multitude of details as part of an already busy schedule while managing vendors, family anxieties and demands, your groom, your emotions and an array of tricky wedding dynamics. True, some brides are downright demanding but most are nice people, sucked into the vortex of wedding planning stress, and overwhelmed by the stress, pressure and expectations of those around her.
Wedding Goddess Antidote: A bride has to include stress management, self-nurturing and time to chill out as an integral part of her wedding planning process. When you feel the stress building, take time out, go for a walk, slip into a movie, get a massage, go for a manicure, write in a journal, do something un-wedding. You have to love, honor and cherish yourself if you want to be loved, honored and cherished by someone else!
2. Everyone has something to say about your wedding and you are not alone in feeling you cant win! No matter who you are or what age
everyone has something to say about your wedding. You may be showered with congratulations and gifts, but you are simultaneously bombarded with unsolicited advice, wedding horror stories you dont want to hear, and negative vibes from well-meaning friends and relatives who are too lost in their own experience to realize they are imposing on you. People tend to see your wedding as a chance to fulfill their own needs and family dynamics erupt in every which direction because as the clan prepares to gather they begin to act out what its all about for them not you! The issues are classic mom wants it to be the wedding she never had, sister or best friend wishes it were her, your groom is afraid to stand up to his family. Or the experience may be fraught with more modern challenges such as questions about mixing faiths, opting for a non-religious wedding or planning an alternative kind of affair.
Wedding Goddess Antidote: A Bride has to clarify the wedding she truly wants, try to stay centered and set clear boundaries that no one can penetrate with words or attitudes. If all else fails, consider this: The reality is that weddings tend to be for other people, but marriage is for you two. Focus on what your marriage will mean to you.
3. Getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. The process itself sets forth period of growth and change that can be very confusing and nerve -wracking. Once you decide to marry you will begin the process of getting ready for marriage, and unresolved emotions about parents and family, past loves and concerns about the person you have chosen will come to the surface to be explored. This doesnt mean you shouldnt marry, it just means inner work is called for along with all the outer preparations.
Wedding Goddess Antidote: A bride can embrace the awareness that she is embarking on a journey of evolution from one part of life to another, and honor and address the emotions and fears that arise. Trust they are natural and pay attention to any issues that might require support or counseling. It is important to stay on top of your emotions and be honest with yourself during this time. Don't sweep things under the rug.
Continue on to page 2 to read several more goddess tips for dealing with stress!