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Readers Respond: Honoring the Dead at a Wedding

Responses: 60

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spiritual dance for remembering dad

My father passed several years ago, so my stepfather will walk me down the aisle. To honor my father, my son will do a spiritual dance for the father/daughter dance. I will also have a candle with a poem on it light for him.
—Guest Rachael

classmates

I CAME ACROSS THIS SITE LOOKING FOR WAYS TO HONOR THOSE CLASSMATES WHO HAVE PASSED & WE ARE DOING IT NOT ONLY WITH A MEMORY BOARD BUT ALSO WITH SOMETHING ON THE TABLES…I WANTED TO HAVE MORE REMEMBRANCES OF OUR CLASSMATES & IT WAS SUGGESTED HAIVING SOMETHING ON THE TABLES ALSO FOR PEOPLE TO SEE BETTER. SOME OF YOUR THOUGHTS HAVE TOUCHED MY HEART & BLESSINGS TO ALL OF YOU WHO WILL HONOR YOUR LOVED ONES ON YOUR VERY SPECIAL DAY!! AND!! IF ONE WANTS TO PUT THEIR DECEASED PARENTS NAME ON THE INVITATIONS…GO FOR IT!! YOU ALL ARE VERY SPECIAL & MAY ALL OF YOU HAVE MUCH LOVE & HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIVES AS YOU WALK DOWN THIS ROAD OF LIFE!!
—Guest Ruth

Mother-in-Law

My future husband’s mother passed away very suddenly nearly 3 years ago and we were very close. I have borrowed her engagement ring and wedding band and will be tying them into my bouquet with a blue ribbon when we marry in 3 weeks. It will be a nice way to have her close to us on our wedding day.
—Guest Jenna

missing piece locket

My friend gets married next year and she lost her brother a couple of years ago, I know she would have had him as a big part in her day so I’m going to try and find a jigsaw piece locket that she can fasten to her flowers on the day as the missing piece then give her a bracelet as a gift to keep it on after, I hope she will love it.
—Guest Tanya

dad and my three brothers

My father passed away 6 months before my wedding. I have a stepfather and three older brothers so instead of being forced to choose, I walked alone down the aisle. My three brothers stood in the ceremony when the pastor asked “who gives this woman to be married” and as did my mother. At the reception, instead of dancing to what would have been the father daughter dance I danced with all three older brothers. I chose Elton John’s Can you feel the love tonight. Elton John was my dad's favorite singer and he used to sing that song to me when I was a little girl.
—Guest Sheena

Lockets

When my nephew married, my sister made up special boutonnieres for her deceased husbands family to wear the included a small locket size photo in a little silver frame attached. They were touched to bring his presence to his son’s wedding.
—Guest Cynthia Gregory

Dad's flower

My father died when I was 14 and we were very close. When I was little he would often bring me carnations. So, for our wedding we are handing out red carnations for everyone to hold during the ceremony in remembrance of him. After there will be vases to put them in and they will come to the reception with us.
—Guest Heidi

Balloons

I'm getting married in July this year. Both my dad and my partner's parents have passed away, and I have a aunt and uncle who passed away. Their children will be at the wedding (my cousins) so to remember them we are going to set off ballons after the service so then it won't upset anyone and the day wont be sad. We are just going to write their names on them and put a saying on a tag and let them go so all the people and I have remembered our loved ones who are not there in a special way.
—Guest Julie

Their favorite flowers

Both my mother and my fiance’s mother have passed away and in honor of them, we are putting their favorite flowers with a ribbon saying their name by our unity candle since traditionally they are the one who light the candles for us to unite. My mom’s favorite was a red rose and my fiance’s mother’s was a lavender calla lilly.
—Guest Amanda

Hard Enough

I’m getting married in 5 months and my dad passed away 10 months ago. The ideas are nice, but I think I’ll do better not putting some special thing up or anything like that. I think it will only make things worse. The video we will have at the reception prior to our dance will have pics and will make things hard enough.
—Guest A

Flowers and candles

This site has been very helpful. My daughter is getting married in a few days. Her dad passed away suddenly five months ago. My brother will walk her down the aisle. We are having a vase with flowers and candle placed up front with a picture beside it. We will either have his mother light the candle right before she comes down the aisle or she will light it right before they light the unity candle. The florist is also making her a flower arrangement matching her bouquet to place on his grave the day of the ceremony.
—Guest Meshell

My Mom and His Dad

We plan to place roses on two empty chairs to honor their memory. That will carry us through the day! I lost my mom to colon cancer and he lost his dad to a heart attack.
—Guest Qiana Dewand

Remembering my dad

My father passed away 11 years ago from cancer and I am getting married in September. I am planning on having a special song sung in his honor that reminds me of him. It will probably be a Motown song, because that was his favorite.
—monyv3113

Honoring my mother

I will be using my mom's china for the main table at the reception as well as releasing butterflies because she always said she loved them because they were so free. My mom was killed a little less than a month ago by her boyfriend and instead of favors we are giving a donation to domestic violence. Also we are saving a seat both at the reception and the ceremony with a rose in it. I am also wearing her diamond necklace and a bracelet she gave me for the wedding.
—Guest Brittaney

Wear something significant

My dad died when I was 10, and my mom walked me down the aisle. To honor my dad who was a herpetologist and raised snakes, I wore a faux snakeskin dress to the rehearsal dinner, and faux snakeskin shoes with my wedding dress. We honored other family members from both sides with a page in our program. We skipped the father/daughter and mother/son dances altogether since I always have a hard time with that at other weddings.
—sarablittle

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