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Readers Respond: Honoring the Dead at a Wedding

Responses: 69

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Grandparents

My Grandma died 16 years ago, and my Grandad died last year. My Grandad told me a week before his death that his only wish was to see me walk down the aisle - I get married in less than 8 months time. I plan to honour them both by hiding a small, laminated copy of one of their Wedding photos, which will have a poem on the back, somewhere in my bouquet. Instead of traditionally throwing my bouquet, I'm planning on presenting it to my Mum after everyone has done their speeches at the Reception. I'll tell her to look inside the bouquet and read the poem on the back of the photo.
—Guest Lisa

My Fiance's Best Friend

My Fiance lost his best friend several years ago to cancer. Rick loved critters of all kinds. He came in to our house once wth lizards hanging from his ear lobes! So each one of us will wear a lizard pin on our clothes. I will have one in my bouquet and we will write a sweet memorial in our program. There will be an empty place beside Mark because Rick would have been his best man. We will put a picture of Rick there and a lizard's tail will hold our rings until the right time.
—Guest Kellie

For my dad

I lost my dad 11 years ago and have always worried about my wedding day. My wedding is now in 5 months on the date of what would be my dad's 50th birthday! My brother is walking me down the aisle wearing my dad's ring, my fiancé will be wearing my dad's gold chain. My uncles will do a toast to my dad and I will be displaying a picture of my dad alongside mine and my fiance's!
—Guest Stacey

stressed and alone

I'm getting g married in September of 2011. My mom and dad are not going to be there. My mom died in October, 2009 and my dad died October, 2007. I feel so alone. I plan on wearing my mom's watch and placing a rose on the chairs where they have been sitting in their honor. I miss them soooo much!!! Some people might think it's a little weird,but it's my way of saying I miss them and they will NEVER be forgotten.
—ValerieDixon

honor deceased loved at a wedding

I plan to have candles at every seat at the reception, with matches and a note "We invite you to light a candle in memory of those who are with us today in spirit.
—Guest Bee

bride

My brother Jamie was killed in 1997. I will have his class ring in my flowers with me on my day.
—Guest kayla spallinger

my mum

My mum died 3 weeks ago, I get married in 15 months. I am recreating her wedding bouquet and my dad is giving me her ring. So sad to think she won't be there to see me.
—Guest joanne

Remembering Mom

My mother passed away 6.5 years ago. I am getting married in August. We are honoring her by using flowers in the bouquets and corsages and so on that are called Sonia roses, as that was her first name. I am having my aunt, her younger sister, light my family candle and her seat will be left open. His Mom and my aunt will lay Sonia roses on that seat after lighting the candle.
—franze22

poem to honor dead

my fiance’s father passed away vey suddenly when i was 3 months pregnant nearly 6 years ago, i am a very centamentle person and i wanted to do a candle ceremony in our wedding with his two sisters to lite it but he thought it was a little too sad for him and his family so i found a nother poem for the celebrant to read at the beginning of our ceremony. we are having the ceremony where my great grandfather had a house and we now have a family tree planted there wityh all who have passed on scattered under it, it feels like you are in a garden and you would not know there was a house there ever so i am also framing a picture of the house on a easle and getting all invited to sighn around it for us to keep, so you will see the poem i chose goes really well for all because it goes for both sides now instead of just the one person loved ones “Although we are separated physically, faith and love have bound us eternally. Though we cannot see them, we know they are here. Though we cannot
—Guest simone

spiritual dance for remembering dad

My father passed several years ago, so my stepfather will walk me down the aisle. To honor my father, my son will do a spiritual dance for the father/daughter dance. I will also have a candle with a poem on it light for him.
—Guest Rachael

classmates

I CAME ACROSS THIS SITE LOOKING FOR WAYS TO HONOR THOSE CLASSMATES WHO HAVE PASSED & WE ARE DOING IT NOT ONLY WITH A MEMORY BOARD BUT ALSO WITH SOMETHING ON THE TABLES…I WANTED TO HAVE MORE REMEMBRANCES OF OUR CLASSMATES & IT WAS SUGGESTED HAIVING SOMETHING ON THE TABLES ALSO FOR PEOPLE TO SEE BETTER. SOME OF YOUR THOUGHTS HAVE TOUCHED MY HEART & BLESSINGS TO ALL OF YOU WHO WILL HONOR YOUR LOVED ONES ON YOUR VERY SPECIAL DAY!! AND!! IF ONE WANTS TO PUT THEIR DECEASED PARENTS NAME ON THE INVITATIONS…GO FOR IT!! YOU ALL ARE VERY SPECIAL & MAY ALL OF YOU HAVE MUCH LOVE & HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIVES AS YOU WALK DOWN THIS ROAD OF LIFE!!
—Guest Ruth

Mother-in-Law

My future husband’s mother passed away very suddenly nearly 3 years ago and we were very close. I have borrowed her engagement ring and wedding band and will be tying them into my bouquet with a blue ribbon when we marry in 3 weeks. It will be a nice way to have her close to us on our wedding day.
—Guest Jenna

missing piece locket

My friend gets married next year and she lost her brother a couple of years ago, I know she would have had him as a big part in her day so I’m going to try and find a jigsaw piece locket that she can fasten to her flowers on the day as the missing piece then give her a bracelet as a gift to keep it on after, I hope she will love it.
—Guest Tanya

dad and my three brothers

My father passed away 6 months before my wedding. I have a stepfather and three older brothers so instead of being forced to choose, I walked alone down the aisle. My three brothers stood in the ceremony when the pastor asked “who gives this woman to be married” and as did my mother. At the reception, instead of dancing to what would have been the father daughter dance I danced with all three older brothers. I chose Elton John’s Can you feel the love tonight. Elton John was my dad's favorite singer and he used to sing that song to me when I was a little girl.
—Guest Sheena

Lockets

When my nephew married, my sister made up special boutonnieres for her deceased husbands family to wear the included a small locket size photo in a little silver frame attached. They were touched to bring his presence to his son’s wedding.
—Guest Cynthia Gregory

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