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Readers Respond: Honoring the Dead at a Wedding

Responses: 69


Dad's flower

My father died when I was 14 and we were very close. When I was little he would often bring me carnations. So, for our wedding we are handing out red carnations for everyone to hold during the ceremony in remembrance of him. After there will be vases to put them in and they will come to the reception with us.
—Guest Heidi


I'm getting married in July this year. Both my dad and my partner's parents have passed away, and I have a aunt and uncle who passed away. Their children will be at the wedding (my cousins) so to remember them we are going to set off ballons after the service so then it won't upset anyone and the day wont be sad. We are just going to write their names on them and put a saying on a tag and let them go so all the people and I have remembered our loved ones who are not there in a special way.
—Guest Julie

Their favorite flowers

Both my mother and my fiance’s mother have passed away and in honor of them, we are putting their favorite flowers with a ribbon saying their name by our unity candle since traditionally they are the one who light the candles for us to unite. My mom’s favorite was a red rose and my fiance’s mother’s was a lavender calla lilly.
—Guest Amanda

Hard Enough

I’m getting married in 5 months and my dad passed away 10 months ago. The ideas are nice, but I think I’ll do better not putting some special thing up or anything like that. I think it will only make things worse. The video we will have at the reception prior to our dance will have pics and will make things hard enough.
—Guest A

Flowers and candles

This site has been very helpful. My daughter is getting married in a few days. Her dad passed away suddenly five months ago. My brother will walk her down the aisle. We are having a vase with flowers and candle placed up front with a picture beside it. We will either have his mother light the candle right before she comes down the aisle or she will light it right before they light the unity candle. The florist is also making her a flower arrangement matching her bouquet to place on his grave the day of the ceremony.
—Guest Meshell

My Mom and His Dad

We plan to place roses on two empty chairs to honor their memory. That will carry us through the day! I lost my mom to colon cancer and he lost his dad to a heart attack.
—Guest Qiana Dewand

Remembering my dad

My father passed away 11 years ago from cancer and I am getting married in September. I am planning on having a special song sung in his honor that reminds me of him. It will probably be a Motown song, because that was his favorite.

Honoring my mother

I will be using my mom's china for the main table at the reception as well as releasing butterflies because she always said she loved them because they were so free. My mom was killed a little less than a month ago by her boyfriend and instead of favors we are giving a donation to domestic violence. Also we are saving a seat both at the reception and the ceremony with a rose in it. I am also wearing her diamond necklace and a bracelet she gave me for the wedding.
—Guest Brittaney

Wear something significant

My dad died when I was 10, and my mom walked me down the aisle. To honor my dad who was a herpetologist and raised snakes, I wore a faux snakeskin dress to the rehearsal dinner, and faux snakeskin shoes with my wedding dress. We honored other family members from both sides with a page in our program. We skipped the father/daughter and mother/son dances altogether since I always have a hard time with that at other weddings.


I will honor my grandmother who passed away 4 weeks before my wedding by carrying the rosary beads that she carried everyday in my bouquet as well as lighting a candle in her honor at the seat where she would have been sitting.
—Guest ChristinaM

Honoring the Deceased

My fiancee and I will have an empty chair and will each place a rose in the chair in rememberance of our deceased parent.
—Guest Simone

Honoring My Dad

Dad was a 35 plus year veteran of the Police Service in the city where we live. He was instrumental in forming the force - his badge number was only 3 digits, and most now are 4 or 5. Anyway, my fiancee has arranged to have the Service help me, and they are going to carry my father's police cap and gloves down the aisle just in front of me - so Dad can be there, just ahead of me. It's such a great honor how they are helping with this. (I will also be wearing the lapel pin for his service medal on my dress somewhere. No one will see it, but it will be there.)
—Guest jillianb

In honor of my Dad

My dad passed away 6 months ago of cancer. My two oldest brothers will walk me down the aisle, as the third is a groomsman. My father's only brother/sibling will dance the "father/daughter" dance with me, to Volare by the Gipsy Kings.
—Guest Laura

In memory

My father died when I was 14 from cancer. I am an only child and my mother never remarried. I an walking down the aisle alone, but there is a note in the program that I am walking down with the memory of my father
—Guest Carrie

Remembering my fiance's mother.

I plan on placing a simple bouquet on an empty seat for my fiance's mother. There will also be a candle and flower arrangement.
—Guest Jana

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