How to Include Your Stepchildren in Your Blended Family Wedding

If you or your partner has children, you've always known that marriage would be a blended family affair. So, whether you were the one to get down on one knee or accept the ring, you're likely already thinking of ways to include these VIPs in your eventual union. And you aren't alone: These days, blended family weddings are quite common. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, over 1,300 new stepfamilies form every day—and over 50 percent of families in America comprise of remarried or recoupled partners.

If you've already bonded with your future stepkids, you know that parenthood doesn’t require DNA—all you need is love. On your big day, it's important that you help them feel it and to ensure that they understand that you're committing to them as much as you are to their mom or dad. So, how do you ensure that the day is truly special for everyone? Here, we explore 10 impactful and meaningful ways to make your blended family wedding unforgettable.

Give Them a Role

One of the best blended family wedding ideas? Include your stepchildren by giving them a defining role in the wedding. When they look back on your wedding, they will love that they played an integral part. When deciding on which roles to give them, consider their age and interests. Toddlers make adorable flower girls (or boys!), but the role of ring bearer is better suited for a kid capable of hanging onto a ring for safe-keeping. If these kids fall into an older demographic, their jobs should reflect this: They'd make great ushers (and can help guide guests, who they probably already know) and can even stand by your side as a member of the wedding party.

Coordinate Your Ensembles

Have their attire match or complement yours in some way. If you’re wearing a cream-colored gown, put the kids in the same shade. Or have some fun with the little details that make all the difference—matching hair accessories, bouquets, or ribbon sashes are all great ideas. Replica ties, boutonnières, or shoes are also fantastic additions. Wearing coordinating outfits shows that you’re on the same team—on the big day and beyond.

Exchange Vows With Them

When your fiancé has kids, you are saying "I do" to them, as well. So, prior to exchanging your vows with your spouse at the altar, consider sharing a similar moment with them, too. Promise to cherish, love, and protect your future stepchildren; it will mean the world to them and show you're committed to them as well. Plus, there won't be a dry eye in the house (and your partner will love you all the more for the family you are prioritizing together).

Give Them a Gift

When it comes to marriage, an engagement ring is usually involved—and both members of the couple likely have wedding bands. The wedding party is even traditionally presented with gifts. Presenting something special to your soon-to-be child is a wonderful gesture to symbolize that they are an important part of this new family.

Incorporate a Family Blessing

The blessing will vary from family to family, but regardless of religion, customs, background, or the specific wording, the message will be the same: May your home be a place full of unconditional acceptance, love, and comfort. This can be read during the ceremony—right after your vows to your stepchild and just before the ones you’ll make to your spouse—or displayed on a sign at your reception.

Invite Them to Join the Unity Ceremony

Another great way to involve children in the ceremony is to come up with a kid-friendly unity ritual (meaning something less dangerous than candles, probably). Get creative! Have family members pick their favorite candy to pour out of individual mason jars into a massive “Us” jar. Remind them that each person adds a signature flavor to the mix and there's nothing sweeter than family. Another option is a family painting: Use painter’s tape to make the shape of a heart on a white canvas. During the ceremony have each person squirt his or her favorite color of paint to create a magical and meaningful piece of art to hang in your home.

Top Off the Cake

Who says that the newlyweds should be the only cake toppers? Add your stepchildren to the tiers, and let them keep the neat memento after the fact. You can even personalize toppers by age and hair color!

Rock Out on the Dance Floor

After the much-awaited first dance, invite the kids to come out and join you for a upbeat number, such as “Shut Up and Dance.” If you really want to get bonus points, you could choreograph a family flash mob. Slap on some sunglasses and a whole lot of charisma.

Serve a Signature Mocktail

Pick something cheerful like Shirley Temples with extra cherries, milkshakes topped with whipped cream, or virgin daiquiris full of fresh fruit. For the toasts, be sure to have milk “shots" that go best with a plate of cookies. These options will be so much cooler than water with ice. When it comes to special occasions, a sugar rush is necessary!

Special Table

Make the kids' table the party table. At each place setting have a mini Beanie Baby, crayons, and coloring paper. Ditch the fancy glassware for plastic (nonbreakable) plates and cups in bright neon colors. You could even have a bin of Legos be the centerpiece to keep them content throughout the whole evening.