What Does the Groom's Family Traditionally Pay for at a Wedding?

Figuring out your wedding budget is one of the hardest parts of the planning process. However, determining who pays for what—and who can contribute to each element of your big day—can be just as stressful. While traditionally there are expectations around what the bride, the groom, their wedding-party members, and each of their families monetarily give to the nuptials, modern-day etiquette has evolved beyond these defined roles. Many couples, actually, no longer even abide by these rules. For example, some pay for their entire wedding themselves, while others divvy up expenses based on who wants to or is able to pay. Even though some norms have shifted, these traditional expectations are often referenced by parents or followed by some couples. As a result, you may still be left wondering: What does the bride's family pay for—and what does the groom's family pay for?

Historically, the bride's family is responsible for most of the fees associated with the nuptials. This often includes everything from the wedding planner to vendor costs. The family may also be expected to cover some pre-wedding parties or celebrations. The monetary role of the groom's family on (and before) the big day is a bit more complicated. Typically, they're expected to fund the marriage license, rehearsal dinner, and honeymoon for the newlyweds. However, there are also smaller traditions and expenses that the groom's family is expected to cover.

Here, we explore the financial responsibilities of the groom's family. To find out what he and his parents pay for, we turned to expert Terrica McKee, the founder of Southern Productions, a wedding and event-planning company in Mississippi. Read on to learn more.

What Does the Groom's Family Traditionally Pay for at a Wedding?

According to traditional etiquette, the groom's family is responsible for paying for the bride's rings, the groom's and groomsmen's attire, the rehearsal dinner, gifts for the groomsmen, some personal flowers, the officiant's fee, the marriage license fee, certain aspects of transportation, and the honeymoon. This list can be cut or expanded based on the couple's preferences and financial situations.

Some couples do find comfort in following this formula, McKee says. “Most of our clients stick to this tradition,” she says, adding that others tweak it a bit. “Sometimes the groom’s family will just pay for the rehearsal dinner, and that’s all, and in that case, the bride’s family just handles everything else. I’ve had some brides who didn’t want to mention the groom’s expenses to the groom’s family at all and decided to pay for all of it unless they came to them and offered or asked what they were expected to pay.” Regardless of which camp you fall into—or how you choose to tackle the finances of your nuptials—we break down each element of the groom's family's traditional monetary responsibilities in more detail here.

The Bride’s Rings

Typically, when you begin the wedding-planning process, the groom has already bought and gifted a beautiful engagement ring to his bride-to-be. However, the groom (or his family) is also traditionally charged with buying the bride's wedding ring that she will be given as part of the ceremony. Even when a couple chooses the ring together, the groom generally picks up the bill.

The Groom's and Groomsmen's Attire

Whether the groom and his groomsmen are buying new tuxedos or suits or renting for the occasion, his family is traditionally responsible for paying for that outfit. However, in many modern weddings, the groomsmen pay for the cost of their own ensembles.

The Rehearsal Dinner

Tradition dictates that the groom’s family pays for the full cost of the rehearsal dinner. That includes food, drink, venue fees, entertainment, and transportation. This is oftentimes one of the responsibilities the groom's family cherishes having: It's their chance to add their style and flair to the weekend. They can choose the food, music, and venue that best reflects their family's personality.

Gifts for the Groomsmen

Many brides and grooms show their appreciation to their wedding party by giving each member a gift on the morning of their wedding. (Some also opt to do this prior to the weekend's festivities beginning.) The groom’s family is traditionally responsible for paying for these items for the groomsmen.

Personal Wedding Flowers

The groom's family provides the personal flowers involved in a wedding ceremony, including the bride’s bouquet, the groomsmen's and ushers' boutonnières, and the corsages and mini bouquets for the mothers and grandmothers. 

The Marriage License

The cost of marriage licenses vary state by state. Traditionally, it’s the groom or his family’s responsibility to cover that cost and pave the legal route for the couple to say "I do."

The Officiant’s Fee or Cash Gift

Many officiants, especially ministers, don’t have a set fee, relying instead on a gift or donation. “It's up to the groom and/or groom's parents on how much they want to give the minister or officiant,” McKee says. “We suggest no less than $100, but prefer $350 or more since that is an average fee for most wedding musicians when compared to others involved with the ceremony.” The groom's family is also expected to take care of the officiant's lodging. “If the officiant is from another town, and if he is invited to officiate by the groom’s family, they pay,” McKee says.

The Honeymoon

Many modern couples opt to pay for their honeymoon themselves—or ask their guests to help cover the cost of it as a wedding gift. However, tradition dictates that it's the responsibility of the groom or his family to pay the full cost. This includes everything from flights to hotels to excursions.

Reception Exit Transportation

Whether the couple wants to leave their wedding reception in a horse-drawn carriage, a vintage car, or an Uber, it’s the groom’s family’s responsibility to cover the cost of their ride.  

How to Talk to the Groom’s Family About Their Financial Obligations

It's no secret: Having the money conversation with your own family can be challenging. Who wants to put a damper on the fun of wedding planning by focusing on costs? However, it can be even more intimidating to have that conversation with your fiancé's family, especially if you don't know them that well or you aren't sure of their financial situation. McKee says there are a variety of ways brides deal with broaching the subject. “Some brides don’t like to mention to the groom’s family what their expenses are if the groom’s family doesn’t ask them,” she says. Yet others take a more direct approach. “Others are comfortable sharing with the groom’s family what they are expected to pay for," she says. Additionally, some brides have their parents talk to the groom's parents, and figure it out independently of the soon-to-be newlyweds.

If you find it too uncomfortable to have that conversation, consider outsourcing it to your wedding planner. “When they hire us as their planner, we send a list of the traditional groom's expenses to the groom and/or his family, so they know what they are expected to pay for,” McKee says. It’s also important to look at individual family dynamics. “It’s usually the easiest for the bride to tell the groom and the groom to tell his parents in most cases,” she says. “It really depends on the relationship between the bride and the groom’s parents or the bride’s mother and the groom’s parents as to how to best handle the situation.” 

What Happens If the Groom's Family Is Unable to Contribute

Whatever you do, be sure to consider the financial situations of each of your families. Simply put: No one is required to contribute anything to a wedding. If the groom's family is unable or unwilling to help pay for the celebration, you and your partner should determine the best course of action for funding your nuptials. “If the groom’s parents can’t afford to pay for their part, then the bride and/or her family will pay,” McKee says; the couple can also step in to help or assume all costs. “I’ve had several weddings where the bride’s family has had to cover the rehearsal dinner and other traditional groom’s expenses.” You may also opt to chip in more yourselves or ask other family members if they're able to contribute. And even if the groom's family can't contribute monetarily, that doesn't mean they can't help out with your special day. They may be able to assist with getting ready, help organize guests, or even tackle some DIY projects.