What is a Ring Bearer:
A ring bearer is usually a young boy between the ages of 4 and 8 who has a special connection to the bride and groom. He may be related to them, or just be a family friend. He walks down the aisle immediately after the flower girl, or last bridesmaid, with the wedding rings tied to a small pillow.
How to Choose a Ring Bearer:
Look for a responsible young man who is important in your life, and will take his role seriously. If you are having trouble choosing between two ring bearers, there's no reason why you can't have two ring bearers. Give them each a ring to carry and send them down the aisle together. Or, if you're having a long train, get two boys to act as pages or trainbearers instead. Avoid choosing someone who is too young – he will be confused and perhaps scared. An older boy may be more suited for a job such as reader. If your only choices are unsuitable or not that close to you, there's is no reason why you have to have a ring bearer – simply give the rings to the best man to hold.
Can a Ring Bearer be a Girl?
Absolutely! Depending on how feminine your ring bearer is, she may wish to have some flower petals on her pillow as well, and wear a dress that matches the flower girl's.
Preparing Your Ring Bearer For His Role, and Calming the Nerves
I recommend buying a book about being a ring bearer- he'll know what his role is, and understand it's importance. Seat his parents on the aisle, near the front so that he can see them when he walks down the aisle and during the ceremony itself. Ask a groomsman to be his "buddy" and make sure he uses the restroom before the ceremony. You may wish to ask his parents to cut down on the sugar intake the morning of the wedding. Avoid the pressure on him by tying only fake rings to the pillow, and wait to give him the pillow until immediately before he goes down the aisle. Also, ask his parents to bring a change of clothes – young girls are usually happy to wear dressy clothes all day, but young boys are often itching to get out of them! Most importantly, remember the younger your ring bearer, the more you have to be prepared to be okay with whatever happens. If you're the perfectionist type, choose an older ringbearer, or go without.
What He Should Wear:
Some people love the look of "mini-groomsmen" where the ring bearer wears a tiny tuxedo. If you're dressing the flower girl in a white dress, rather than matching the bridesmaids, you may wish to find a white outfit for the ring bearer as well. For the littlest ring bearers, an Eton jacket with short pants is a classic.
Where to Find a Ring Bearer Suit or Outfit
The place where you are renting the tuxedo from should have child's sizes available to rent. You can find ring bearer suits at bridal shops, children's clothing stores, and department stores. Make sure you choose something relatively inexpensive, since the ring bearer's parents typically pay for it.
To start your search, check out
Snips n' Snails,, or
The Best Dressed Child. If you're looking for an outfit in a specific color or fabric,
has a wide array of choices.
