Yes, It's Acceptable to Ask for Money Instead of Traditional Wedding Gifts—Here's How

Whether you've lived together for years and don't really need to upgrade your kitchen appliances and linens, live in a tiny space and don't have room for new purchases, or are planning a honeymoon that's getting pricey, sometimes all you want as a wedding gift is an envelope of cash. But is it acceptable to ask for money instead of a traditional gift? According to etiquette expert Mariah Grumet, it's absolutely okay to request cash for your wedding—how you do it is what really matters. "If you are requesting monetary gifts for your wedding, there is a tasteful way to go about it so it's a win-win situation for everyone," Grumet adds.

So, to ensure you don't rub any family members or friends the wrong way with your financial proposition, we outlined the best, most tactful ways to go about making this request. Ahead, here's how to ask for cash for your wedding, including expert tips you should keep in mind to stay on the right side of the etiquette line and get what you really want.

Can You Ask for Money on a Wedding Invitation?

The short answer: No. The one place where your preference for cash gifts should never be spelled out is on your wedding invitation. "A monetary gift (or any gift for that matter!) should not be requested on the actual wedding invitation," notes Grumet. Instead, include the address of your wedding website on an insert card within your overall stationery suite and detail your registry preferences there. "There's nothing wrong with not wanting physical gifts or a traditional registry, but it's important to communicate that in the best way possible," adds Grumet.

How to Ask for Monetary Wedding Gifts

Now that you know you shouldn't request cash on your wedding invitations, it's time to detail the etiquette-approved ways to make your preference known. You actually have a few different options, though we recommend implementing several of the below for best results.

Ask Your Family Members and Close Friends to Spread the Word

Make sure to let your parents, siblings, wedding party members, and close friends know that you'd prefer cash (as well as why) and encourage them to tactfully spread the word. Chances are guests will ask them what they should get you, and this will prepare them to share what you’re saving for, whether it’s the trip of a lifetime, a kitchen remodel, or a down payment on a home you can call your own. They can then suggest that your guests make a contribution to your savings fund instead of getting you a new toaster.

Be Specific About How You'll Use the Cash

Cash or a check can feel impersonal, so letting guests know where the money will go helps your guests feel more connected to the two of you and your plans. If you're in the middle of a big project, like renovating your home or moving across the country, let guests know about it on your wedding website. Adding a more personal touch with the story of how the project got started, how far along you are, and even the pitfalls you've faced along the way (now that you know how expensive it is to rewire your whole house) will both make your guests feel more connected to your lives and also serve as a plea for help that they'll be more inclined to answer.

Don't know where to put this information? Your wedding website is a great place to outline all of these elements. Add a section for your "registry" and share the aforementioned details so guests understand why monetary gifts are your preference. "Many wedding website platforms and registries will give you the option to add a cash fund, honeymoon fund, specific gift cards, etc. to the registry. You can even be specific about what type of honeymoon experiences you will be putting the money towards," explains Grumet.

Use a Cash or Honeymoon Registry Website

While there will always be guests who prefer to go the traditional route of bringing cash or a check to the wedding reception, some tech-savvy attendees will appreciate having the opportunity to make a financial contribution to the two of you via a registry. There are several different cash registry websites available to couples, though Honeyfund and Zola tend to be the most popular. There, guests can give monetary gifts that can be used for long-term projects, building a savings account, or booking that dream honeymoon. "Having the online registry will allow you to communicate your wishes in a way that will be better received by your guests," Grumet notes.

Etiquette Tips to Remember When Asking for Monetary Wedding Gifts

The etiquette of asking for financial gifts is somewhat more involved than simply denoting your request on your wedding website instead of your invitation suite. Here, we share the other etiquette rules you need to keep in mind.

Be Sure to Create a Traditional Registry, Too

As tempting as it may be, you don’t want to skip the traditional registry altogether. You’re guaranteed to have a few guests who prefer to give you a physical gift, so make the process easier for them (and for yourself) by registering for a small selection of items you really want. Otherwise, loved ones will purchase gifts from a variety of different retailers, making it hard for you to keep track of what you've received and/or return or exchange any duplicate items.

Set Out a Box for Cards at the Reception

Even if you create one, not everyone will use your digital cash registry. Instead, many loved ones may choose to bring a check or cash to the wedding reception. Buy (or craft) a card box that you can designate for cards at the reception. Ask your planner or maid of honor to periodically check the box throughout the evening.

Thank Guests for Any Gifts You Receive

Sure, your preference was to receive monetary gifts for your wedding, but there are always going to be at least a handful of guests who prefer to give a physical present instead. Accept these presents with gratitude and appreciation, and be sure to thank every gift-giver for their generosity. A written thank-you note sent within a few months of your big day is essential.