Roles in the Wedding for Older Children:
- Junior Bridesmaid/Groomsman
They will wear an outfit similar to the other members of the bridal party, and fulfill many of the same roles as they do. They need not attend bachelor/bachelorette parties or showers.
They will read a passage about marriage or love during the ceremony. sample wedding readings
- Escorting the Bride
There's no reason why your child can't be the one to walk you down the aisle.
- Serving as an Usher
They will help guests to their seats, pass out programs, and do everything the other ushers do.
- Flower girl Tips and Information on Flowergirls
- Ring bearer Tips and Information on Ringbearers
- Bouquet holder hold's the bride's bouquet during the ceremony (expect it to get a little squashed!)
Children might not do everything you think they will during the ceremony it won't be perfect but it will probably be cute and entertaining.
(My favorite story is the one where the little boy takes the rings up the aisle, but every few steps he turns around, makes a ferocious face and growls at the crowd. The crowd laughs hysterically but no one understands. Later, when he's asked what he was doing, he seriously answers, "Being the ring bear!"
Here's some things you can do to make them more comfortable.
- Assign them a helper ideally another member of the wedding party who can keep an eye on them, hang out with them before the ceremony, and take them outside if they start to cry.
- Bring a change of clothes for the wedding reception this way they can eat, run around, play with crayons or other toys, all without fear of ruining nice clothes.
- Practice walking down the aisle, until they are comfortable with it.
- Show them exactly where their parents will be sitting
- Consider buying them a book that talks about being a flower girl or ring bearer.
- For a child whose parent is getting married, be sure to include them in the ceremony. This may mean asking the officiant to mention their names several times, or it may mean doing a family medallion ceremony, unity candle ceremony or ring ceremony that will include them in the new family that is being created. You could also include the children in your vows to each other. Having a part to play in the wedding ceremony can often make a child feel less anxious about the marriage.