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Readers Respond: Honoring the Dead at a Wedding

Responses: 69


Weddings are joyous occasions, but they're also a time for family to be together. When a parent has died, it can be hard to know how to honor them without ruining the joyous spirit of the day. About.com readers have shared many creative and loving ways to honor the dead at a wedding. We'd love to know how you plan to remember parents, grandparents or other important relatives who have passed on before your wedding day.

Honoring Bride's Daddy

Daddy died shy of 10 years ago. He was innately PASSIONATE about Classical music and both enjoyed listening to & playing the trumpet. Given he too would Love to be sharing in my/OUR Happiness, just prior to our leaving the Sanctuary, I will dedicate our trumpet recessional, "Mendelssohn's Wedding March, " to Daddy.
—Guest Coral

Remembering my Mom and Grandparents

My mom died when I was 16 and I had two grandparents die this year. I am first going to take a piece of my moms blue prom dress and make it a heart to put under my dress. I am also going to have pictures of my mom and grandparents on the altar with candles. When I walk up the aisle my fiancé and I will go light the candles and put a rose for my mom in a vase and carnations for my grandparents in the vase.
—Guest Renee

In memory of our parents and grandparent

We are mature couple with adult children and I have little granddaughters. His parents each passed over 15 years ago. My mom passed 10 years ago last August. At the beginning of the service my brother will join my groom and his brother at the altar. Each will light a candle dedicated to each parent. My granddaughters will be flowergirls and they each will carry handkerchiefs within their baskets that belonged to my grandmothers. The youngest will carry a teddy bear that was dressed up as a bride by my mom that I've kept for almost 20 years! My fiancee's daughter will have violet butterflies honoring her grandmother in her bouquet. I will also carry a rosary that was given to me by my mom 37 years ago and has been used by my sister and my daughters during their weddings. All these details will be written in the program. Our parents wedding pictures will be on display besides our engagement protrait. I've also added a special section in our wedding site in their honor.

Honoring My Father

I know many people are against the whole slide show idea as part of the wedding reception. However, I believe if some of your favorite & most memorable photographs were incorporated with a beautiful song is a lovely way to remember your loved one. Your wedding day will be full of love and happiness the entire day. Three or four minutes of honoring a very special family member seems like a lovely gesture. I have seen it done before and it is actually quite beautiful.
—Guest Lori C

His Little Sister

His baby sister died suddenly 3 months ago and we had decided that she would be our flower girl earlier. I will be walking down the aisle without petals on the ground. The flower girl basket will be on the steps leading up to the alter. At the reception the sepcial chair we had decorated for her will be empty and a place will be set for her.
—Guest Sally

Circle of Life

We plan on honoring my grandsons deceased mother, and his deceased grandfather, by gathering our family members together at the reception, and releasing balloons in their honor. One balloon from each member of our family and my grandsons new bride, completing our circle of life.
—Guest Sandie

Grandma and Grandpa

I have an antique watch my grandfather gave me (his mother's wedding gift from her groom) which I will wear during the ceremony. After the ceremony, but before the reception, I will quietly take my bouquet to my Grandmother's final resting place. She loved flowers.
—Guest Kellie

best friend

To honor my best friend, I will have a small cake made of a laptop with the Facebook logo on it, to show her she is with us always and forever.
—Guest kim

Honoring My Mother

My mother of 55 years old, recently past away from cancer. She was everything my brother and I had, without a father. I plan on getting married this winter 2012. My mother left us this past May and it has been the hardest and saddest part of life. I miss her dearly and on my wedding day I want to feel like she is there sharing that special moment so I will wear her favorite dolphin necklace. (She would sleep with it every night.) I'm also going to make one of her pictures poster size, have red roses next to it, and light a candle to honor her on my special day.
—Guest Lili Fajardo

For his Father

My Fiancé’s father passed away a few years ago, we got a custom candle made to light during the ceremony with a nice poem and his name. We also wrote in the program for the ceremony that "the candle in front signifies the we know his dad is with us today" My Fiancé also chose to use his father’s wedding band as his own and we melted down some of his other jewelry and had my band made from it. He will always be with us :)
—Guest Christie

Honoring my Mom

Today is 11 months that my mom passed and it will be 4 months that I got married. My wife honored her by wearing the veil she wore for her wedding. She also recreated her wedding bouquet and carried it down the aisle. My mom wore a cross and I took my cross and soddered it to her cross and wore it on my wedding day for the first time. It gave me the sense of her being always close to my heart.
—Guest Danny


My dad passed suddenly 18 years ago, my Mom passed from cancer 6 months ago, my Fiances step dad passed suddenly 2 months ago. Our ceremony will be an "in the round" seating style. Us in the middle surrounded in a circle by our loved ones, two rows deep. Three chairs will be removed from each row to make an isle for us to walk through. Once we are inside the circle must be sealed to contain the energy. Three chairs will be placed back into the front row, one for each of our parents with a framed photo of them. Our parents will close our circle in spirit. My Groom will then place 3 specific flowers into my bouquet in memory of each of them and then the ceremony will begin.
—Guest Tammy

Dad was a Beatles Fan

My Dad died 20 years ago, but when I get married in a couple of months I will be having one of his favourite songs, In My Life as a reading
—Guest Jacqui

I want to honor my mommy.

I am getting married in july,2012. My mom passed away 3 years ago. I grew up without a dad. And I want to honor my mom but as she was my only parent not sure how to do it were everyone wont be in tears. She was very loveing and was a great person please any ideas would be helpful. Her,favorite flower was red roses. and her favorite singer was elvis. my mom was my best friend and was everything to me. When I lost her it almost killed me. Please help me
—Guest jennifer

In Honor of our daughter

For our wedding we'll be using our daughter's teddy bear urn to place with a candle that we'll light during the ceremony, I'll also have a small locket charm with her photo attached to my bouquet and a small flower girl basket saying "reserved for the memory of Brookelyn Maria" attached to my oldest daughter's basket. We're still deciding on where we would like to ask for a donation to go as our daughter's life was taken from her from a caregiver, we'd like something to go back towards child abuse awareness.
—Guest Jesyka

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